Woven Into A People
“..And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.”
Acts 2:47 NKJV
“All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—”Acts of the Apostles 2:42-46 NLT
Scripture also speaks of salvation in more than one tense. The Bible teaches that we have been saved, “by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:8) which speaks to justification, an instant, faith-based, legal declaration before God. Yet it also teaches that we are being saved, as seen in 1 Corinthians 1:18, which refers to sanctification.
This aspect of salvation is ongoing and formational, where habits are reshaped, wounds are healed, and character is transformed over time. I believe that Acts 2:47 intentionally uses the present continuous being saved, as a reminder to us that salvation is not only a moment we point back to, but a process we live out, often through the very community God adds us to.
Now growing up where I did, romantic relationships and marriage were often treated as the pinnacle of life’s priorities. From an early age, girls were, directly or indirectly, conditioned to prepare for marriage long before we were prepared for a meaningful community. Much more effort was placed on becoming a “good wife” than on learning how to be a good friend, sister, or member of a body.
When romantic relationships are elevated above all others, they begin to carry expectations they were never designed to hold. Yet even modern society often treats romantic love as the place where all unmet childhood needs must finally be satisfied. “..marrying my love and my best friend.”. As beautiful as this is, when one person becomes your safe place, affirmation, emotional regulation, community, joy, and healing, the weight becomes unsustainable, even when the love is genuine. Psychology refers to this as emotional outsourcing. Biblically, this is idolatry. Not because love is wrong, but because placing ultimate trust in a person assigns them a role only God can sustain.
We also live in a social media age, where silence and performance are rewarded. We share highlights, carefully curated vulnerabilities, and moments that make us look strong or relatable but only to a degree. This habit spills over into real life: at work, at school, at home, and even at church. Spiritually, it fosters double lives, shallow intimacy, and emotional displacement. The people closest to us friends or partners, often receive the worst of us: our exhaustion, complaints, and unguarded emptiness. It is no wonder intimacy can feel draining.
Struggling to need people often means struggling to receive from God, because both require surrender. This distorted stance can make God seem distant, impressed by strength, and disappointed by need. Independence, resilience, and self-made success are celebrated, but God’s design is different.
Psychology suggests that our struggles to allow ourselves to be fully known in any community ,Christian or otherwise, often begin in childhood. Children whose parents were emotionally unavailable or uncomfortable with deep feelings may learn early that expressing needs is risky. When reaching out for comfort is met with shame, anger, or withdrawal, a child may adapt by suppressing their own needs and prioritizing others’, convincing the world they require little care. While this strategy can create competence and likability, it comes at the cost of genuine intimacy, leaving a quiet loneliness that persists into adulthood.
Psychologists like John Bowlby explain that our brains are wired to equate familiarity with safety. Even painful patterns of neglect or emotional unavailability feel navigable, so we unconsciously repeat them in adult relationships. This extends to our spiritual lives: we may approach God with caution, skepticism, or rigid expectations, placing Him in the same “box” as the caregivers of our youth. Yet God’s love is designed to transform these very patterns, of fear and self-reliance.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Romans 12:2 NKJV
Here’s a truth worth holding onto…
Dependence is not the opposite of strength, it is evidence of trust and the tools and strategies that once protected us may no longer serve us, and growth often requires letting go of familiar crutches so deeper connection can take root.
Being added to a church is not a one-time event, it is an ongoing journey and one of the most important aspects of spiritual growth and, much like it or not, one we cannot skip. Community is spiritual survival; it is not optional, and it is for our own good. After all, the work of the cross was not only to reconcile us with God but also to reconcile us with one another, and living in genuine fellowship allows us to experience that reconciliation daily.
Until next time,
Love
B
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