I Meant Well… But Maybe I Hurt You Anyway

The disconnect between meaning well and doing well. I used to think that love was enough. That good intentions would carry the weight of every misunderstood word, every delayed response, every moment where I didn’t show up fully — emotionally, spiritually, or attentively.

Hey there!

It's been a while and I’ve been sitting with the possibility that even love, when not handled with care, can still wound.

I didn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe I was too caught up in my own internal battles. Maybe I was trying so hard to be enough, I didn’t realize I wasn’t being present. Maybe I thought being physically there counted more than emotional availability. Maybe I silenced your pain in defense of my intentions.

I was trying. But maybe not in the way you needed.

Love is not a pass. It doesn’t excuse missteps. It doesn’t cancel out the impact of neglect, even when it’s unintentional. You can want to be someone’s safe place, and still forget how to hold them gently.

Sometimes we do the most damage when we’re doing our best… because our best is shaped by our own lens, our own needs, our own love languages. And if we’re not careful, we love people in ways they can’t feel.

I’ve come to realize:

  • That listening isn’t just being quiet, it’s being present.

  • That honesty without empathy can sound like cold truth.

  • That “but I didn’t mean it like that” doesn’t erase how it was received.

  • That defense often blocks connection.

This is not about shame. It’s about responsibility, reflection and maybe even redemption because sometimes healing starts with a simple admission: “I didn’t mean to, but I see how I did.”

You can love someone and still need to apologize.
You can mean well and still miss the mark.
You can try again , with more intention this time.

If this sits with you, if you’re reading this and reflecting on the moments you meant well, don’t let that reflection harden you. Let it soften you. Let it teach you to ask better questions, to hold people more gently, and to recognize that love isn’t just a feeling… it’s a skill.

And we’re all still learning.



Till next time, may you keep choosing love,

Love 
B

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